new year – Resilient Edge Wellness

Happy New Year!

January 2, 2024kvanness01

Let’s Get Off to a Great Start

Happy New Year to you, Dear Reader!

I’m sorry I haven’t posted since early December. The end of 2023 brought family tragedy, family illnesses, emergency trips home…at times it all seemed overwhelming. However, we managed to decorate the house and choose and decorate a beautiful Christmas tree. Fortunately we did this right after Thanksgiving, while our son was home from school, so we were able to honr and enjoy this portion of our holiday traditions. The rest of December seemingly went to hell and back. However, we spent a nice New Year’s Eve together. Finally some calm family time to rest and begin to mend.

And now we move into 2024.

This time of year, many folks like to make resolutions, often around things such as losing weight, getting fitter, getting more organized, earning more money, doing better at the job, etc., etc., etc. Some of the more enlightened among us may place emphasis on improving relationships – spending more time with the wife / husband / partner, spending more time with the kids, calling Mom every week – or on more intangible goals such as experiencing more joy this year. Others stick to very tangible goals like “finally” cleaning out and organizing the garage or the shed.

Whew! I’m getting exhausting just typing all that!

There are as many ways to tackle resolutions or goals or aspirations as there are human beings. However, I’d like to share a couple key strategies that might be helpful this time of year. And they work together synergistically which is really cool.

I tend to “overschedule” myself in terms of goals, activities, and what I wish to complete or achieve in the coming year. I also tend to NOT hit all of those goals and fall short on some of the activities. Over the years, I’ve come to realize that, while I may have a list of 8 to 10 major things I would like to achieve during the year, I will not actually achieve anywhere close to that number of goals unless I FOCUS.

I have also realized that I won’t achieve an important goal or objective (or resolution) unless I make the activity related to that goal a HABIT.

Yes, FOCUS and HABITS are the keys.

Not very sexy, I know. Not sounding fun.

I can hear the moans and groans now. “Can’t I just bask in the glow of my super awesome resolution, Karen? Focus and habits just don’t sound very appealing!” I feel your pain. Bear with me. It’s not that bad.

And when you give up the fantasy of completely transforming your life without any effort or patience or perserverance, you will find my recommendations below actually make things EASIER on you! So read on, my friend…

The One Thing

Gary Keller (of Keller-Williams Realty fame) and Jay Papasan wrote a book in 2012 titled “The One Thing: The Surprisingly Simple Truth Behind Extraordinary Results”. I highly recommend it.

The key idea of the book is to focus your efforts on a smaller, but more substantial, set of goals and objectives. Even just ONE critical goal or objective. Then build the habits that help support your achieving it.

Their key question, what they call “The Focusing Question”, is as follows:

“What’s the ONE THING I can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

At the beginning of each year, ask yourself this question with the “Big Picture” in mind – meaning, what is the one thing that will be most critical to YOU. Questions such as “Where am I going? What target should I aim for? What do I really want to do with my life?” This can be for the new year or aspirationally what you would like to manifest over the coming three to five years (or longer).

You can also check in at regular intervals during the year with a Big Picture review of how you’re doing against your most important goals or dreams, and then course correct as needed. (And you will almost always have to course correct, that’s just the nature of doing big things.)

Then plan this year, this month, this week, and today, by asking the “Small Focus” question: “What must I do right now to be on the path to achieving the big picture?”

In other words, focus on one or two or three big things…then work your way backwards to what you will do each month, week, and daily to help you reach that big thing.

The key takeaway I get from this is to FOCUS better. Instead of 10 different “priorities” for the year, or month, or week…I am titrating down to the top three things during each time frame, then thinking about and identifying the supporting objectives and habits to support me and make it easier for me to reach my big goals.

Develop 1 to 3 Good Habits

A ton has been written over the past five to 10 years about the importance of HABIT and developing good habits, so I won’t spend too much time on them here.

As an individual who is not always as “self-disciplined” as I think I should be…and who then berates myself when I miss the mark…I offer another approach that might work better – for me and for you.

Just as you focus on one top goal or achievement for the year (or top three goals at the most), focus on building one key habit. Think about the most important habit you could develop that would make achieving your goal easier.

For example:

-Your top goal, the outcome you want the most, is to get fitter and lose weight. Of the things you can do to help achieve this, what would be the most important habit you could build that would make this easier?

Think here not only in terms of the cumulative effect of the habit over time. Think also in terms of whether you will stick to the habit.

So, if you haven’t exercised at all in several years, you might not want to say you will “run three miles” every day or life weight four times a week, or something crazy. Rather, set a lower benchmark that become your “floor”, the least you will do – the effort you will COMMIT to doing, come hell or high water.

A good example would be to establish the habit to walk every morning, or every evening. Or to do some type of physical activity every day, even if it’s just some stretching or a few minutes of qigong and breathwork.

Or start out by doing one pushup every morning, without fail. Then build from there. Just like eating Lays potato chips, you probably will not be able to stop at just one pushup. You will want to do more. But committing to ONE pushup, or ONE short walk, or ONE MINUTE of breathing, as your baseline, will make the habit easier to build.

I’ll have more to share about habits, as well as a super fun method for helping you FOCUS on your most important goal – your ONE THING – and actually make it happen this year – in my next post.

Until then, start asking and pondering the focusing question: ” What is the ONE THING you can do, such that by doing it, everything else will be easier or unnecessary?”

You Can Do It!

Dr. Karen

Forget About Resolutions. Do This Instead

January 10, 2023kvanness01

Each New Year can feel like a new beginning. This man-made structure of the calendar, with its ritual ending of one year and beginning of another, serves most of us as a cue to take stock and reflect on the past 12 months…and think about what we want to manifest in the coming 12 months.

Many people make a New Year’s resolution – or multiple resolutions – at the beginning of each year. The expectation and potential of the new year combines with the reality that we came up short the previous year and propels us to think optimistically. “This year I will do it! This will be my year! This time I will stick to my diet / fitness program / new work habits / stop procrastinating / stop yelling at my kids” etc. etc.

Typically, these resolutions involve things we want to change about our lives in the coming year. Many folks start out strong. Unfortunately, as studies (and our own experience) have shown, most people drop their resolutions by about mid-February. In fact, it’s a truism in the fitness world that most gyms make their money on the people who sign up in late December or early January. The gyms are super crowded during the first four to six weeks of each new year, frustrating the regular gym-goers who now must compete with the newbies for the equipment or the spot in the group fitness class. However, by mid-February, the gyms are noticeably less crowded. Most of the newbies have stopped coming or come only occasionally. The regulars get back to their own routine and can snag the fitness class spot or piece of equipment they want with no problem.

If resolutions don’t work so well, what is a solution? What’s an alternative that works?

I encourage you to switch from making resolutions to setting intentions. An intention is a directed impulse of consciousness that contains the idea, the form of what you wish to create. Based on quantum physics, it is thought that each of our ideas or intentions broadcast out into the quantum realm of possibility, like the ripples or waves on the surface of the water that emanate out in all directions from the rock that you throw into the pond. Those waves of possibility move out to the future, charting a potential path for manifesting the reality of the intention into your life.

Some waves “bounce back” to us in the form of a material change in our lives. How successfully we manifest our intention depends on the strength of the wave we send out. The strength of the wave – whether a small ripple, a large surfing wave, or a tsunami – depends on two things: (1) How definite and clear our intention is – in other words, we have a clear, well-defined purpose or achievement or way of being; and (2) how much desire or emotion we have invested into that intention.

The wonderful thing about intentions is that they are not tied to the calendar. You may have an overall intention of getting into better shape, or feeling more energetic, or finally achieving a goal that has eluded you. And that’s great! Define it clearly AND allow the feeling associated with the intention to wash over you. Get enthusiastic about it. Feel as if you have already achieved it, or it has already come to you or happened to you. Bathe in that feeling and that vision regularly.

At the same time, set smaller intentions for each day that help support or feed into your larger intention. This is akin to setting “process” goals – or things you will do daily, weekly, or monthly, on a consistent basis – that help you accomplish your more substantial goals. When you link your bigger intentions to your daily activities, you keep that intention front and center. Each time you complete a task or smaller goal that supports a larger intention, you send out additional waves into the realm of possibility, further strengthening the probability that your intention will come true.

To have a momentous year, you don’t have to” set the world on fire”. You don’t need “massive action”. You simply need to go inside, take stock, consider what you really want – the thing or things with the most meaning to you – set the intention, and imbue it with feeling. Then set your supporting intentions and take the small, daily, consistent steps each day to help bring to fruition that which you wish to manifest in your life.

You Can Do It!

New Year. New Body. New Life

January 6, 2023kvanness01

Happy New Year!

The New Year provides an annual milestone and impetus to improve in the areas of your life that you are not satisfied with. It also provides a nice starting point for pushing to greater heights in those areas that are going well.

Despite the most heartfelt resolutions, many people don’t get off to a fresh start in the New year because they allow themselves to remain mired in the past. Past failures, past shortcomings, past heartbreaks. It’s easy to hold on to these and assume they are indicators of what the future holds.

It’s important to free yourself from the internal binds to the past. What happened in the past year, or in previous years, HAS happened. It is gone. Learn from your experiences, yes! But don’t let what has happened in the past – good or bad – prevent you from crafting the best possible now – and future now’s – for your life.

In the spirit of the Fresh Start, here are some thoughts to help you break loose and think with freedom, feel with optimism, and move with a light and joyful step through the coming year.

At a physical level, you are a BRAND NEW person. By the time you read this sentence, 100,000 cells in your body will have died and been replaced! Your entire body – all the tissues and structures – regenerates itself every 6 months. You are constantly dying and regenerating at the cellular, indeed the molecular level. Every new day brings new growth.

Whatever trauma, heartache or so-called failure that happened last year happened to the old you – the you that existed then. But why is it that we so often remain captive to the emotional hurts and bad habits of the past? Mentally and emotionally, we remain tethered by guilt, shame, and blame. When we should be following the lead of our physical selves and – let go.

The Bible says, “You are wonderfully and powerfully made.” You are a completely new you. You are wiser, more powerful, more capable. You are a survivor. So don’t remain chained to the emotional or physical hurts of the past. A new you greets this year. A future new you will finish this year. Let’s kick it off in fine fashion!

You Can Do It!

Karen