From Shut Down to Heart Open: I lost both my parents in the space of three months. It's taken a few months for me to feel open enough to write again.

Hello Dear Reader!

I’ve been AWOL since September 30, 2024. I apologize for my absence.

I lost both my parents in the space of less than three months. While going through their passing and the aftermath, I felt like my ability to write was shut down. I typically try to write authentically and from the heart, sharing thoughts, ideas, questions, and information I think will be helpful to you. But this ol’ heart was breaking!

**Here are my parents in the winter of their lives. Almost 65 years of marriage. What a partnership!**

**Here are my parents, Norm and Elaine: the happy couple, with all their hopes and dreams ahead of them.**

I was very lucky in the parent department. They were always supportive and we retained a close relationship all of my life. My brother and I are grateful for how far into our adult lives our parents were around!

As I move past the initial feelings of grief and loss, I’ve been able to focus more on the gratitude I feel for my parents, including all that they taught me and provided to me…their deep love for their grandson (my son)…and the example they set.

I once again feel the desire to carry on with my practice and writing, with the goal of helping my clients, students, and readers become healthier and happier. We each carry a divine spark, an inner wellspring of energy, healing, and power. But we may not know how to tap into it. Or we may have forgotten. My parents didn’t fully understand what I do, but I know they would want me to continue on with this calling. They knew how much it meant to me. They knew I could make a positive impact, because they’ve seen me do it before in other areas of my life. And they knew I approach everything I do with a sincere heart. I feel their encouragement even now, as I sit and type this out.

Until the past several weeks, I felt a heaviness I couldn’t shake. Fortunately, I did not make the mistake of trying to shut down or sublimate the grief. Rather, I reminded myself to let the emotions flow. I worked on keeping my heart center open and, whenever something came up, let it flow through my heart and then dissipate. No judgment about the emotion, no analysis. Just pure feeling and energy.

This was my test: Could I follow the practices I’ve learned and keep my heart open energetically? Or would I revert to my typical “stiff upper lip” MO?

I can’t say I was perfect. I mean, when I’m in a session with a client, the focus has to be on the client, not me! But overall, I think I’ve done pretty well.

And I’ve developed less risk aversion to keeping my heart open and sharing more. I’m typically a pretty reserved person and don’t always feel comfortable sharing a lot. Now my heart tells me it’s okay to be more open.

And just in time, because here we are, well into Spring – the season of growth and expansion. The rising Yang energy, the emergence of leaves, flowers, and plants, the increasing time spent outside in the fresh air and sun, all converge to pull our mood and energy levels up up up.